Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Can I become a comic for one night!

Last night, I went to cheer and support my friend, Cindy performing her very 1st stand -up at Comix. Cindy had taken a Comedy class and last night was Graduation night. I admit that as her friend, I am biased -  she was SO SO funny.  I so so admire her courage to get up on the stage. I  also was quite envious.Once again, feelings of " I wish I could do that" .   The next class begins on Aug.31st ....I am so tempted to sign up.  There is something... so inviting and frightening about putting it all on the line.  Can I get up there and talk about my life....can i be funny...can I deal with all the prying eyes.  ....i have the brochure ..right here on my coffee table...." it is calling my name..."Melanie, Melanie ....you can do this"  and despite my inital reaction - to reply " shut the fuck up!"...but I have not yet...stay tuned

Last night, challenged myself to go alone to the comedy club....I have always felt self-conscious to do that in the past. But, this damn challenge is not letting me get away with my usual crap.  So, off I went - i entered the club...and was met immediately with the question " are you alone , this evening... is this a reservation for one"  My smart ass response " yes, darlin - that is the story of my life lately"  . The check in person laughed!  So, maybe I do have a career in comedy- I know , I can be a smart ass - when called for!
I entered the club and was seated at a table for 4.....by the doorman.  My waiter was not pleased and suggested that I move to a more acceptable seat for a single.... My smart ass response " No one puts baby in the corner, sweetheart"
He laughed - I wondered " what the hell is the matter with these, people?"  Why do they find smart ass bitches ..funny? I will definitely have to remember that !


Monday, August 17, 2009

The Melanie Challenge Begins

Gambaru, which means - Never, Ever Give Up ..even if there's no chance of winning"



I once produced a segment with NBC’s Ann Curry. She was gracious but clearly not in the mood for this interview and certainly not for a phone pre-interview.  

Her mood was understandable - considering she was dealing with failing health of her father. In fact, it was the first thing - she said to me “ I am sorry , I am not really up for this today!” 

 I promised to make it quick and expressed my sympathies ...I had recently dealt with the death of mother and then, my sister. So, I knew immediately what Ann was dealing with. As i listened to Ann - the tears began to flow at my little cubicle. And I turned away from co-workers , so they could not see. “ There’s no crying in baseball or in television”

I found myself connected with Ann, immediately. Ann told me of the guiding mantra - that her mother - had always told her “ Gambaru... Never, Ever Give Up ..even if there's no chance of winning" .  It was the guiding principle for how Ann lived her life. And it was something- I could relate to. My own mother, Frances, had her own version of Gambaru - that she instilled daily to her 3 daughters. We all knew what mom expected from all of us.  But, something happened along the way in terms of fulfilling that promise to our mother. 



If you look back at my life...there is a common thread. A motivating factor that has isolated me and kept me from achieving the things ...I wanted most in life.  

It is fear. It is thing that kept me stuck from not going forward. Quite simply....I was afraid to try.


I saw the movie Julie and Julia today and came away with a tremendous feeling of regret. It was an strong emotion that I had not expected to overwhelm me.  I thought - I was going to watch a movie about food. A welcomed activity since - I am a foodie. and, in my career - I have had the pleasure of meeting Julia Child and had admired her.


But none of that matter- as, I sat in the darkened theatre in Queens.  I watched Amy Adams ( Julie) attempt to make Beef Bourguignon and I said almost out loud - “ I always wanted to do that”. So , why hadn’t I ?  And my next thought - how many things- have i not done because - I was afraid.


So, as I sit here - 18 days after my  51 st birthday....i know that regret is no longer acceptable for me.  How many things, experiences, relationships, conversations ..have I let slip through my fingers because I was afraid. The phrase: too many - shakes me to my core! 


 The question is - how do I fix it.... In the movie Julie challenges herself - to make changes in her life.  What can I do - to put it on the line?

So,The Melanie Challenge begins - I am going to attempt to try something new ..everyday for the next 365 days.  I am going to experience life, as if failure were not an option. Each day there will be something new added to my life....some pursuits  will be trivial ( I could not resist, that one) ...others will be monumental .


And so, it begins.....



Melanie's Challenge